The birds and the bees

In English, when a parent says they have (or haven’t!) told their child about “the birds and the bees”, he or she doesn’t mean that they have told their child about these animals. “The birds and the bees” is a euphemism – an expression we use when we don’t want to say something clearly and bluntly, often to be polite. “The birds and the bees” is a polite expression meaning “explaining how sex works”, usually to a child.

We use a lot of euphemisms in English – usually when talking about a "taboo" - a subject which is socially unacceptable or considered very private, or even disgusting. For example: death, vomiting, sex, or using the toilet. We do this to be polite. The rest of this blog will be much less polite, in order to explain some of these euphemisms! Call a spade a spade! (Which means “don’t use euphemisms to be polite.”)

• Death

“She passed on last year.” = “She died last year.”

“the late Michael Jackson” = “Michael Jackson, who is dead”

“He’s no longer with us.” = “He is dead.”

“She went peacefully in her sleep.” = “She died peacefully in her sleep.”

• Vomiting

“He was talking to god on the big white telephone." = “He was vomiting in the toilet."

"She was praying to the porcelain god all morning." = "She was vomiting in the toilet all morning."

"I was calling Ralph/Huey on the porcelain phone." = "I was vomiting into the toilet." (The noise you make when vomiting sounds a little like "Ralph" or "Huey".)

“She threw up.” = "She vomited."

“He was chucking his guts up last night!” = “He was vomiting a lot last night!”

“I was running to the bathroom all day.” = “I needed to go to the toilet many times today and/or I have been vomiting all day.”

• Sex

“the beast with two backs” or “the two-backed beast” = “sex”

“They were at it all night.” = “They had sex/were working on it/arguing all night.” This depends on the context. BUT, “I think he’s at it.” = “I think he’s having sex/cheating/lying/stealing/doing something suspicious.”

“Me and my girlfriend finally did it!” = “Me and

my girlfriend finally had sex!” However, “it” could refer to something else, e.g. getting engaged, or doing something they have been thinking about or discussing for a long time. This depends on the context.

• Going to the toilet

“I’m going to see a man about a dog.” = “I’m going to the toilet.” or "I don't want to tell you where I'm going."

“I’m going to the little boys’/girls’ room.” = “I’m going to the toilet.”

“I need to take a leak.” = “I need to pee/urinate.” (NAmE)

“I’m going for a slash.” = “I’m going to pee/urinate.” (BrE)

“I’m bursting!” = “I urgently need to pee/urinate, it is very uncomfortable!”

• ... and now for some birds and bees...

These videos are from Green Porno, a series of short educational videos. They feature Isabella Rosselini, and are about how animals live and have sex. Isabella dresses up as an animal, and explains how the animal lives and reproduces. Because some animals are violent, there are occasionally violent scenes. There are many sex scenes, but they only contain animal puppets (animals or body parts made from material) and Isabella dressed as the animal.

HEY! Listen!!

Please don’t watch these videos at work if puppet sex or violence is a problem!!

(A common acronym when describing links, videos or pictures is "NSFW", which means "not safe for work".)

Bees – how bees live and reproduce. Contains scenes of non-explicit sex and violence.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-V621BxHZQ

Birds – how ducks reproduce. Contains explicit scenes of simulated sex, and sexual violence.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhwXVDi496E

Paying compliments

Compliments (saying nice things about people) can be difficult - some people can get offended if you use the wrong words. And if you give too many, the person will think that you're being insincere (you don't mean the compliments), or that you want something!

Words for giving too many compliments:

• flattering - giving compliments to put someone in a good mood. This is not negative.

• being insincere - saying nice things but not meaning them. For instance:

A: "I've had such a horrible day!"

B: "Oh, that's a shame. Can you baby-sit for me tonight? I'm busy."

Person B is being insincere when she says "Oh, that's a shame."

• ass-kissing - Literally, it means someone kissing someone's bottom. It means giving too many compliments to your boss, and being very nice to them, so that the boss will help them or like them more. This is done to get a promotion, or a raise, For example, laughing at the boss' jokes when they aren't funny, getting the boss coffee or gifts, agreeing with everything the boss says...

• brown-nosing - This is quite rude! Literally, it means kissing someone's bottom so much that their nose gets dirty. It means the same as ass-kissing, but it is more extreme. If a person says "(Sally) is brown-nosing the boss." - this means that he/she does not like what Sally is doing, and is insulting Sally.

Here are some examples of acceptable compliments. Some are about the ability to do a job, and others are about appearance. But be careful - it's strange to give a lot of compliments at once, except perhaps when you're in a bar and see an attractive man or woman you want to make friends with!

http://learnenglish.britishcouncil.org/en/how/how-pay-compliment

The video is taken from the British Council's LearnEnglish site. Follow the link to find tasks to help you with the vocabulary, and the transcript is provided if you're not sure about some of the words.

The LearnEnglish site ( http://learnenglish.britishcouncil.org/en/ ) provides resources for students and teachers, from podcasts to grammar exercises. It has resources for elementary students to advanced learners. The website is free to use!

For more videos by the British Council, go to: http://learnenglish.britishcouncil.org/en/listen-and-watch

And here's a final compliment: you're such nice readers!

Problems in London

For the last week or so, there have been riots (violence, people throwing missiles, people setting fire to things) in London, and several other big cities in England, like Birmingham, Liverpool, Manchester and Leicester.

It's happening in lots of different places, here's a map that shows the places that are affected: http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/interactive/2011/aug/09/uk-riots-incident-map

Most people are shocked by it all... it isn't a protest, there is no political agenda. It's mostly poor young people who are rioting - the youngest person arrested was only 11 years old!

People seem to be stealing things (like mobile phones, trainers, and televisions); breaking windows; and setting cars, shops and buildings on fire.

Here are some pictures - fires, riot police, rioters stealing things in a shop: http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/194525/20110808/london-riot-pictures-2011-photos-tottenham-police.htm

There are some happier pictures too, of people trying to stop rioters: http://yfrog.com/kj5oewj, or helping the police: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pixel-eight/6024429000/

Some people are seeing the funny side, like this website http://photoshoplooter.tumblr.com/ (A lot of these pictures have been photoshopped - the picture is altered to make it look funny or strange or interesting.)

Sending our thoughts to everyone affected by the riots in England, stay safe!